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My husband is relapsing Grrr


Ann
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Ann
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19 years ago 0 394 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
HI so sorry to hear that-Do Not Know What To Say?? i havent been smokefree that long yet.. Chickstarr thanks for all support you given me so far ann [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/6/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 10 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 447 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $159 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20
doodles
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doodles
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19 years ago 0 695 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Chickstarr lots of luck!! My husband still smokes but I AM A NON SMOKER!! It has been easy so far because he travels during the week, but Sat. we have to ride together to pick our daughter up at camp. (one way 21/2 hours) This should be interesting... Just stay focused on YOUR QUIT. I hope I can!!! you can do it..WE BOTH CAN DO IT [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/22/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 25 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 507 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24
Mama
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Mama
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19 years ago 0 481 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow, Chickstar that is really tough. I know because I am quitting with a daughter that smokes living with me. It makes it really hard to know that I could go get them. The nicodemon talks to me a lot about those cigs in her room. There was a thread bumped today about that and parts of it were really funny but also it told me that I am certainly not the only one who has those silly thoughts and i am not weird. If you can find it, read it. so, I'm here with you. I would probly cave if I were you because now you have the ultimate excuse. I can remember when I was married, I used to think to myself that I get to smoke 10 years after he quits because he was 10 years older than me and got to smoke 10 more years. Now I quit because I want to see him die a long horrible death from cigarette smoking while I will be healthy and free. I will have many more years than him. mama [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 15 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 600 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $85.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

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    $75,735.00

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    Days: 6714 Hours: 7

    Minutes: 30 Seconds: 50

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    45900

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Free
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19 years ago 0 3368 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Maybe if you printed some stuff out ... he'd read it? And you are so welcome for your celebration thread ... the first month is such a great feeling, huh? I never thought I could go more than a day, then a few days, and now lookie ... a month! Don't you give that quit away for anybody or anything ... you are doing so great Chickstarr!!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,049 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $136 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29

  • Quit Meter

    $55,080.00

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6072 Hours: 11

    Minutes: 20 Seconds: 50

    Life Gained

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    45900

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    137,700

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Free
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19 years ago 0 3368 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My husband's name is David too.! heh! Goodness Chickstarr ... I think I'd kill my man ... LOL! No seriously ... my hubby and I talked about the possibly of one of us relapsing. We both agree'd that neither one of us wanted to be with a smoker anymore. Did your husband read your Quit Program Workbook? I hear you about your 'personal demon' ... remember you did this for you Chickstarr. And if you want your hubby to quit for good ... you going back to smoking is not going to help him at all. Maybe I am not the best to comment on this ... I think I'd kill my husband. LOL! Because I can't stand the smell of it anymore. I mean it makes me want to puke. So the thought of my husband smelling like smoke would make me want to puke ... oh goodness! I'm sorry Chickstarr ... I don't know what to say ... what is the point of his smoking? Does he even know? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,048 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $136 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

  • Quit Meter

    $55,080.00

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6072 Hours: 11

    Minutes: 20 Seconds: 50

    Life Gained

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    45900

    Smoke Free Days

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    137,700

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chickstarr
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chickstarr
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19 years ago 0 261 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks BF, (& thanks for my one month celebration on the stats parade,sniff as tears of appreciation start), I refuse to smoke cause he'll see that as validation of his ridiculous position. Who knows why he smokes? Maybe he's still immature enough to see it as glamorous. Acchh. If I ask he shrugs. My superintelligent husband. (NOT) Anyone got a gun? LOL?? Alison KICK THE HERB TO THE KERB [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 30 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 929 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $375 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

  • Quit Meter

    $91,800.00

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 8980 Hours: 13

    Minutes: 57 Seconds: 29

    Life Gained

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    45900

    Smoke Free Days

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    918,000

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

chickstarr
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chickstarr
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19 years ago 0 261 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hmm well, The title says it all really doesn't it? My husband David & I quit together but now he is starting to have 2 or 3 smokes at work during that day and is quite fine with it - a bit sheepish but v v defensive! He still calls himself quit. He also plans on buying a packet if we go to a party cause "That's what you do." (At which point I disagree - non-smokers don't buy a packet of filth for a party.) As a NOPEr (Not One Puff Ever) myself I tell him that he's not quit, just really cut down. And the worst thing is that this is how we all started smoking. A couple here and there, out socialising, and then BAMMO you are having smokes and coffee for breakfast and freaking out when you only have one left. As I say: Grrrr Any ideas? I can't force him to want to quit, even though this whole exercise was his idea as I keep reminding him. He's a grown man and making his choices. I have hard and fast rules that he's not to bring them honme, not to smoke anywhere near the house but I smell them on him every day. And my personal demon has even started to say things like, Well if he starts again I'll just have one or two a night; at which point I have to kneel on it's windpipe. If it wasn't for you guys and all the support here I could be in trouble. Just call me wimpy. Alison Kick the Herb to the Kerb :confuse: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 30 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 928 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $375 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

  • Quit Meter

    $91,800.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 8980 Hours: 13

    Minutes: 57 Seconds: 29

    Life Gained

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    45900

    Smoke Free Days

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    918,000

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

chickstarr
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chickstarr
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19 years ago 0 261 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks again guys. You might have something there Shevie. While he is interested to hear what I've had to tell him about this site & all the great info and people David's not keen to get onto this site, or any other. I guess cause he's such a champion quitter. hmmm. Anyway. It IS my quit. It is MY quit. I will protect it and keep it safe. (Thanks for that visual Healer) Who knows? maybe all this will make me stronger in my quit. Who knows? maybe he'll respond to a positive example. Who knows? I might find a gun. lol cheers - going to non-smoking pub now. Without husband. hehehe alison :) Kick the Herb to the Kerb [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 31 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 933 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $387.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58

  • Quit Meter

    $91,800.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 8980 Hours: 13

    Minutes: 57 Seconds: 29

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45900

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    918,000

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

chickstarr
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chickstarr
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19 years ago 0 261 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks so much to everyone for all the positive reinforcement, I will be sticking to my quit process regardless of my husband's decisions. I have stopped asking him if he has been smoking, if he had any at work etc. I've given him the address for this site. I've set the boundaries about smoking at home - he can't smoke around me or the home or in the car. And I've left it at that. Just rereading what I wrote made me need a deep breath. But I will stick to it and not hassle him. I think he was surprised (maybe relieved?) last night when I wasn't after every detail of how many cigarettes, with who etc. It's almost like he's had an affair! But my quit is incredibly precious to me, even more precious now that I'm past the first month, I went out drinking last night with no damage to my resolve, all the hurdles are being passed! Slowly and carefully and thoughtfully. Thanks for the link 4my2girls Thanks again to everyone - you guys rock and you guys ARE my rock and anchor alison :) :) ((hugs)) :) :) Kick the Herb to the Kerb [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 31 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 956 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $387.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 26 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50

  • Quit Meter

    $91,800.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 8980 Hours: 13

    Minutes: 57 Seconds: 29

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45900

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    918,000

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
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Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
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19 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Chickstarr, Your right, it's your quit and that's where your focus needs to be. Your husband may be struggling but he'll only stay quit if that what he really wants and if he's committed to doing it. A lot of people experience set backs and relapses and it's very important they learn from it on their own. Lead by example, eventually he'll follow suit. Also, if he does keep smoking you'll want to reaffirm the boundaries you've set with regards to smoking and being around you. Good luck and keep persevering, Danielle _________________________________ The SSC Support Team

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