CAMH

Home
Main Forum
Quit Smoking
Common Support Questions
Hubby smokes again...

Advanced Search Form

Hubby smokes again...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Christina!

Kaiser is absolutely correct! The demon is ruthless and it DOES take some people more tries than others! When your hubby gets sick and tired enough of his hacking cough while constantly seeing you in a whole lot better health and smelling so good all the time, he'll get back on the wagon! Just seeing what the smoking and addiction is doing to him should be a constant reminder to for you to protect your quit at all costs!

We're here for you!

Jim

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 3/5/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 848
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 21,200
Amount Saved: $3,498.00
Life Gained:
Days: 146 Hrs: 1 Mins: 49 Seconds: 24

Quit Meter

$48,667.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1188 Hours: 6

Minutes: 49 Seconds: 26

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6489

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

194,670

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1387

Remember that this is a terrible addiction and some people need more attempts than others. That said make sure you protect your quit.

kaiser

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 7/30/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 701
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 17,525
Amount Saved: $876.25
Life Gained:
Days: 136 Hrs: 16 Mins: 10 Seconds: 57

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 90

Oh I would be so mad! My hubby quit at the same time as me and I often wonder what I would do in that situation. Most of it I think would just be the anger and betrayal. Those two feelings alone would make me want to hide in a cigarette. For me, I would need to deal with those feelings before I could get back on track. I don't know that the urge to smoke would be an greater because he is smoking but perhaps greater just because I feel upset. I know you can make it through this and it will give me great strength if the time comes that I ever have to face that situation myself.
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 11/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 220
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,400
Amount Saved: $1,540.00
Life Gained:
Days: 19 Hrs: 4 Mins: 53 Seconds: 29

Quit Meter

$390,991.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 5611 Hours: 22

Minutes: 36 Seconds: 40

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45999

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

919,980

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1843

Christinas, my other half is still smoking. Like I've said before, he's tried quitting numerous times since I quit. We have a medicine chest drawer full of gum, lozenges, chantix, etc. We have rules. No smoking in the house. No smoking in the cars. No smoking near me. When his desire to quit is stronger than his desire to smoke he will stop smoking. He has a 100 mile bike ride for Cancer research coming up in August. He said he wants to quit for that. One of these days he will quit. Until then, I just show by example how much better my life is being smoke free. And I will not let his smoking affect me. I will remain quit!
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 8/20/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 680
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 27,200
Amount Saved: $6,800.00
Life Gained:
Days: 104 Hrs: 16 Mins: 31 Seconds: 42

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 251

OK. I am back to normal - or a close surrogate of normality. I am still very upset/betrayed and all. The smoking thoughts are stronger than they have been in quite a while. The doubts that I can fight the demon are lurking in the back of my mind.

But I heard my hubby with that nagging cough this morning and realized that I don't miss that at all.

It is an inconvenience. But it is not a stopping point.

I have traveled the path alone (with all you guys, actually) for the first three months of my quit. Even though hubby was still smoking, that did not stop me or slowed me down. I did not give up then. Why should I give up now?

I am back to blogging. Back to fighting the demon... If you all can, please keep on being as wonderful as you always are...

Keep the quit

Cristina

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 10/5/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 269
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 9,415
Amount Saved: $1,223.95
Life Gained:
Days: 25 Hrs: 13 Mins: 38 Seconds: 36

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Cristinas,

I am sorry about this. I can tell that this really upsets you. But I have no doubt you will stay strong in your quit and I think your strength will be inspirational for your husband as well. He will be back at some point and when he is you will be a great example of how a successful quit can go.

Reading over your blog posts sounds like a great idea. It really will reinforce how important this is to you. Just ensure that you keep posting, you keep remembering and you keep that smoke away from you.

Stay strong!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2534

Ditto the girls - you look after your quit.

Things are not always the way we want them to be in life - you must accept that and move on.

Protect your quit and many congratulations on 9 months!

Penitent

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/18/2004
Smoke-Free Days: 2235
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 55,875
Amount Saved: �13,968.75
Life Gained:
Days: 384 Hrs: 17 Mins: 53 Seconds: 57

Quit Meter

$63,239.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1311 Hours: 9

Minutes: 15 Seconds: 18

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5749

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

126,478

Cigarettes Not Smoked

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 618

Hi Cristinas,

Leslie is so right...............to keep your quit separate from your hubby's.

I'm sure what you are feeling right now is a bit 'let down,' as you had thought he was going through the same as you. You just have to rise above it all and remain committed to your quit at all times. Well done for not condemning or losing your cool! That must have been difficult.

My husband continued to smoke for about 9 months after I quit. Admittedly I did not ask him to smoke away from me, as I felt it would make me stronger to be exposed to a smoker right from the start. It was difficult, but my quit became the be all and end all to me. I never asked him to quit, he just did it quietly after that 9 months.

I'm sure you are in the same position now. You are strong and can fight off any doubts. You are right to be aware of the Nicodemon in the wings, and revising your earlier entries will do not harm. You are FREE now, and I'm sure you do not want to lose that freedom!

NEVER LOOK BACK. THE FUTURE IS AHEAD!!!

Love Lolly.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 11/25/2004
Smoke-Free Days: 2044
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 71,540
Amount Saved: �17,885.00
Life Gained:
Days: 271 Hrs: 6 Mins: 23 Seconds: 4

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Hi Cristina,

My advice is that you have to keep your quit separate from your hubby's. We are all individuals, and each quit is different for each person. Your quit is going so well, do you want to change that because hubby might be cheating?

My husband smoked when I met him, he now 'dips' instead of smoking.... neither is good for him but that's his choice. I don't like that he 'dips' and I hope that he'll quit soon but that's his choice not mine.

We can only control what we ourselves do, what our spouses, or significant others do is their choice. Hopefully we can lead by example and show them that the nicotine free life is worth living

Leslie

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 2/14/2002
Smoke-Free Days: 3059
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 122,360
Amount Saved: $18,354.00
Life Gained:
Days: 323 Hrs: 21 Mins: 30 Seconds: 17

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 251

I knew something is going on. For the past two months or so, I was sure hubby started smoking again. Hiding it. By no means as much as he used to. But smoking anyway. When we went on vacation I asked him a couple of times but he denied it. I told him that quitting/staying quit is a personal choice - which I strongly believe. He did not reply. So I knew I am right... So, today, surprise, surprise, he came and admitted that he is being "experimenting" with smoking... That's a weird word to use... Experimenting? You're kidding, right??? After thirty five years of smoking, I think you mastered the smoking part... But I did not jump. I did not condemn... I kept my cool and just asked that he keeps the smoking away from me... I am proud of where I am,but I am also cautiously optimistic about close exposure to smoking/smokers... I am almost nine months into my quit and I know one puff brings me back to to packs a day. I need to revisit a lot of my early entries, just as a reinforcement of WHY I cannot/ will not go back to this.
But, again, I feel I need your help and advice, guys/gals.

Rock, how did you cope with your partner's smoking/quitting history?

Keep the quit,

Cristina

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 10/5/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 268
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 9,380
Amount Saved: $1,219.40
Life Gained:
Days: 25 Hrs: 12 Mins: 34 Seconds: 25

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Hubby smokes again...