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Can people share their relapse stories?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 115

My previous & most successful quit prior to now lasted six months. It had been so hard but I felt I was winning. I went on holiday to a tiny port in Sicilly, with the intention of hiring a car to sightsee on the island. As soon as we arrived my husband told me that he had left all our driving documents at home by accident. I was so upset, didn't know how we were going to entertain ourselves for 10 days. There was very little to do in the immediate area and public transport was very limited.my husband suggested I buy some cigarettes! ... I reminded him that it was a stupid idea, but it set a seed in my mind. He was telling me it was ok and I would just smoke on holiday! I hesitated for 24 hours and then agreed that he could buy me some. I remember thinking how it didn't taste half as good as I imagined but nevertheless I was hooked. Back to 20 a day within a couple of days. Oh how I regretted my actions, it took another three years and loads of stress before I could summon up the motivation to quit again. There is no way that I am giving up this time. N.O.P.E. VIV

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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

The last time I smoked I was under a lot of stress and things snowballed and I got weak and bought a pack of Marlboro's My long lost friend. Of course this was just a excuse for wanting to smoke again.

I smoked 5 cigarettes...I enjoyed them so much that it scared the daylights out of me and my anxiety ballooned out of control..I immediately took the unfinished pack and threw it in the trash and poured water all over the cigarettes so I could not smoke them later..That was it for me I never smoked again..You can never underestimate the power of the addiction. It is always there just waiting to be ignited again by taking that one puff..

Thats my story..of smoking and relapse..

Red...

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 816

Great thread Working On It. I think relapse can be spur of the moment or planned long in the past just waiting for that " weak moment " triggered by that stressful situation. Nicotine can be out of our system within days but that doesn't mean that we can't crave the result of it just the same. That's why rewards are so important. We rationalise and justify the most insane ideas in relapse mode. I rationalised that I could buy a pack and have one only when I really needed one which would be every 5 minutes. How insane is that ? Addiction insanity ! There are people that could have one every couple of years and not think about it again ( I'm just not one of them ). Any relapse I've had has been brought on by not thinking straight either as a result of being tired or angry. I think that without rewards my quit would have been short lived. The immediate gratification of the addict calls for a replacement reward immediately to offset the craves. I'm grateful that I learned about rewards on this site. Excellent for us for not smoking. breather

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Thanks for more stories. I am able to click that "helpful" button again, too.

And dori, my computer was being so glitchy that I couldn't even see your post before I posted earlier today.

Interesting that the ones after the first one taste nasty, but it's still a struggle to re-quit. Sounds like all of the negative with none of the positive.

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$25,023.85

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Days: 676 Hours: 20

Minutes: 48 Seconds: 44

Life Gained
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4859

Smoke Free Days
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97,180

Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Workin'!!!

I had several quit attempts during my 37 year smoking career. Most of them were short-lived. The thing that stands out in my mind the most was that I really didn't think that I could do it and thus, I didn't! So, during my 30's and 40's I basically resigned myself to being a smoker. Then the brother died of cancer and I swore to myself that I would quit. Right! A few years later my dad died of cancer and I told myself that it was my destiny to die of cancer if I didn't get my head together and quit!

Another attempt failed and finally a couple years after that I discovered Chantix and heard some great things about it! So, I went for it and told myself that this was going to be my last chance! I also found the SSC when I started taking Chantix and you know the rest of the story. I remember every quit attempt and I remember how I felt after every relapse! I remember how hard it was to quit and how easy it was for the demon to seduce me right back into addiction. I often think about what it would be like to smoke another cigarette, but it's very hard to be close to anyone that is smoking. I mean the ol' gag reflex takes over when I smell smoke now! I can tolerate the smell of cigar smoke a little bit better, but OMG cigarette smoke makes me gak!!!

That's the main reason that my curiosity will never get the best of me. Besides that, I vowed that I would never smoke another cigarette, which is my gift to myself, my family and my friends.

It's OK to be curious, but don't unleash that monster ever again, Workin'! Keep it buried deeeeeep!!!

We all love the new smoke-free Workin'!!!

Jim

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$47,880.00

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Days: 1168 Hours: 21

Minutes: 53 Seconds: 49

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6384

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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3307

Working On It, one puff and you have lost you quit and you begin with day one all over again. One puff make you a smoker again. One puff will take away your freedom. One puff will mess with your mind. One puff destroys all of what you have worked so hard for.

I have had many relapses and each one brought me back to smoking. I have had twice, one year quits. I even made into the Hall of Fame with one of those quits. I have had short term quits and some with some long term quits. There is no way one can rationalize why we smoke again. I have accepted that I am addict to nicotine and it is very powerful. It will get into your mind and chatter and chatter until, unfortunately for me, I gave in.

That first smoke will make you dizzy, which I liked, and taste good and then as Breather said they are nasty and you will be filled with remorse. Thank God, this site was here for me over and over and over again. I absolutely love the friends I have met here and am forever grateful they have and continue to support me.

Just don't smoke and you will be fine.

Keep the Quit

Sparky

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Thanks breather and snice. I guess it happens right away, huh? It doesn't creep up. it just takes over. Scary thought.

I appreciate your stories. My computer's messed up right now, and I can't get the "found this post helpful" button to work right now. Just know that I did, indeed, find those helpful.

Any more stories out there?

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$25,023.85

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 676 Hours: 20

Minutes: 48 Seconds: 44

Life Gained
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4859

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

97,180

Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 153

Been there too. I quit a couple of times for about 3 months. I conned myself by telling myself that I'm no longer addicted and one wouldn't hurt. Well it did. Within days I was back to a pack a day. And just like everyone else has said, the first one felt amazing but every other one after that tasted like *!@**** and I felt like that too physically and psychologically. Thanks for reminding me why I never ever want to go back there again.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 187

Hi Working on it

I remember the last time I tried to quit (last summer), I was a good 3 months in and feeling pretty good about it. I'm not quite sure what hapenned, I was having a really rough day, and the kids were fighting and driving me nuts. (I have 2 young boys). All I remember thinking was, ok, I need a smoke, right now! I drove down to the store, and had talked myself into having just one, single, small cigar (one of those flavored ones). I don't even like them, but I figured I'd just have the one and get it out of my system. I didn't want to buy a pack of cigarettes. Well let me tell you, after I had my first puff it felt so good, but it was not worth it. I felt so guilty, and I sat there and cried after I smoked it. But that didn't stop me from making 3 trips to the store that day and buying 3 more. All it took was that to get me hooked again, and I was back to smoking. After quitting for 3 months, I found I didn't even enjoy them anymore, and I could really smell it on myself. Once you've tasted the freedom of being smoke free, smoking really SUCKS.

You are doing awesome, and I'm sure you are an inspiration to many. Guard your quit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 816

Hello Working. I can tell you about one relapse that's ingrained in my mind. I was 6 weeks smoke free one time and just finished night shift for the week, For some reason I decided to stay awake which turned out to be a big mistake. To make a long story short I had decided to buy a pack and just have one when I really needed one. Needless to say that by the time I went to sleep that night the pack was gone. The rest is history. I know that if I hadn't let myself get overtired things would have been different. Two things can be said about it. The first cigarette really good except for being light headed. Also after that every single one tasted terrible. Was it worth it ? N.O.P.E. Excellent for you for not smoking. breather

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Can people share their relapse stories?