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Empty Pockets Full of Soul

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Ron

You are so right. Why is it that I had so little respect or appreciation for myself that I continued to smoke? I cannot answer that. But I know that I value myself a great deal more now than when I was smoking. Quitting is a very liberating experience. Once you know that you can do it, there is no reason to look back.

I am glad that you seem to have had the same experience. It is funny that you should mention diet. I have done the same thing. I try to eat closer to the ground these days and it has paid off in increased energy and strength. Sounds as if you have gone down the same road. I suffer periodic bouts of depression but in some way having overcome cigarettes, I am able to handle "going down the rabbit hole" in much more creative ways. Perhaps it comes from dealing with cravings, maybe once we realize that they do not last forever, we are able to extend that knowledge to those times when we are most spiritually vulnerable... We no doubt are meant to experience the full range of human emotion, it might just be that we now know that any given emotional state does have a "sell by date" and we will eventually pass through it.

stay well

nonic
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 926
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 27,780
Amount Saved: $9,723.00
Life Gained:
Days: 176 Hrs: 20 Mins: 2 Seconds: 17

Quit Meter

$71,127.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1557 Hours: 9

Minutes: 55 Seconds: 44

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6774

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

203,220

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Trillium

Oh my goodness please don't feel hesitant about posting to anything you see here. That is what this site is for. The worst thing anyone can feel when trying to get right with cigarettes is alone. You certainly are not that here. This site helped me immeasurably when I was first struggling with this addiction. And it will help you too, simply because you will find people with whom you resonate.

Most of the things I post here are from my journal. They are really conversations I have had with myself, reconfigured to relate to others who are going through the same trials. I understand what you mean when you say your quit is going well, but there are troubles in other areas of your life. The fact of the matter is that we as addicts used smoking as a way of "dealing" with those things that cause us heart ache. Once we quit we begin to come out from behind that blue veil and start to deal with difficult things in new ways. Once you get your sea legs and discover that you are able to do that, you will gain a confidence that will help you put those troublesome things away. Quitting is very liberating in many ways, some of which we only realize in hind sight.

In any case you should be very proud of your achievement. I am not one who feels that pride is necessarily a good thing, but in this case it can be used to give you confidence in other areas of your life and that is a very good thing...

stay well

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 926
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 27,780
Amount Saved: $9,723.00
Life Gained:
Days: 176 Hrs: 19 Mins: 58 Seconds: 19

Quit Meter

$71,127.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1557 Hours: 9

Minutes: 55 Seconds: 44

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6774

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

203,220

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 62

Nonic,

These posts were not addressed to me but reading through them has inspired me and given me food for thought. I am doing well with my quit but having difficulties in other areas of my life. I know I am not alone, life tends to throw us curves and isn't fair but we have to go on. I am happy to know I am in control of my body and dealing with the hurt and stress on my own.

Trillium

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 6/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 37
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 740
Amount Saved: $118.40
Life Gained:
Days: 4 Hrs: 23 Mins: 33 Seconds: 49

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

Like I use to be told years ago, Practice makes yours.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 68
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,836
Amount Saved: $688.50
Life Gained:
Days: 7 Hrs: 10 Mins: 19 Seconds: 35

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 377

Nonic,

One of the things I have learned on my year smokefree is that quitting has really been re discovery of our greatness. When I smoked I never felt that feeling, and I realized that by quitting it gave me a chance to get to know myself again. At the beginning I didn't like what I saw in that top pocket. But through nicotine abstinance, a little meditation, yoga, and eating a better diet I'm putting loving intention into who I am once again. With that I'm finding that holding those feelings in my heart and just letting them be has transformed them into something else which I find quite beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Ron

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 6/17/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 386
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 6,948
Amount Saved: $2,431.80
Life Gained:
Days: 59 Hrs: 9 Mins: 18 Seconds: 35

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Kelly

Good to hear from you as well...Anxiety does come along with us, but I think that being aware of it helps to minimize the effect it has on our everyday lives. I think that quitting smoking gives people more confidence that they can handle the stresses brought on by a natural propensity to worry. Maybe when we face this beast down we realize that the other monsters in the closet lose a bit of their ferocity.

In any case sadness is always with us. In many ways perhaps we are born to mourne as we are temporal beings always wondering if we are using our precious time of awareness in the most productive manner. But there is so much beauty in all of it that maybe the sadness is there just to remind us that we are indeed alive.

Stay well you have made much progress and those kids seem happy about it too...

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 906
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 27,180
Amount Saved: $9,513.00
Life Gained:
Days: 172 Hrs: 21 Mins: 52 Seconds: 56

Quit Meter

$71,127.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1557 Hours: 9

Minutes: 55 Seconds: 45

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6774

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

203,220

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 967

Nonic,

It is alway nice to hear from you. I feel as though we share many of the same feelings. I too for the last month or so have been feeling the sadness, a bit, but am able to keep it where it belongs. Anxiety is something that will always ride with me, but I am always trying to find new and better ways to help myself. I have learned a new way of living and I have no intentions of giving up...but we must remember that this is a process, and until we let ouselves out of our own prisons, we will never be truely free...I believe I am very close to that, but I am still working on it.

Much love,

Kelly

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/6/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 559
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 16,770
Amount Saved: $2,096.25
Life Gained:
Days: 46 Hrs: 12 Mins: 45 Seconds: 21

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Faryal

Yes you are so correct...Especially in the area of cessation this is true. For me this particular addiction is a two headed beast. There is on the one hand the physical addiction, and on the other the emotional aspect. The former can be waited out and dispensed with in a relatively short period of time. The latter is more long lasting and harder to comprehend. It is necessary to have a good immagination in order to formulate a picture of the emotional reasons that cause us to cling to the addiction. But I do know that this is a thing of substance.

In some way each of us must come to know that the power to gain freedom from the addiction is within our grasp. However one must in some way develop an objective understanding of this. I am not so sure that it is possible to be totally objective about one's being as this (self) by definition is subjective. In short we are both the prisoner and the jailer.

We are indeed strange creatures, but somewhere in ourselves lies the power to create a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven. Perhaps this is the fundamental definition of free will. It is a rather large subject...

stay well

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 905
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 27,150
Amount Saved: $9,502.50
Life Gained:
Days: 172 Hrs: 17 Mins: 20 Seconds: 9

Quit Meter

$71,127.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1557 Hours: 9

Minutes: 55 Seconds: 45

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6774

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

203,220

Cigarettes Not Smoked

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Powerful analogy Nonic...............about smoking being a self-made prison.

We underestimate the power within.............we have the ability to create our own hell or heaven.

Thanks for reinforcing the faith and strength we need in order to get through life's obstacles.

Faryal, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

bgaineshunter

Sounds as if you have found a good middle ground. There is alot to be said for moderation. Living on the extremes of our natures can be interesting, but I think as I age, I will do more of my living toward the center.

stay well

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 904
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 27,120
Amount Saved: $9,492.00
Life Gained:
Days: 172 Hrs: 12 Mins: 42 Seconds: 6

Quit Meter

$71,127.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1557 Hours: 9

Minutes: 55 Seconds: 45

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6774

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

203,220

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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Empty Pockets Full of Soul