CAMH

Home
Main Forum
Quit Smoking
Forum for New Users and General Discussion
I CANNOT Date a Smoker!

Advanced Search Form

I CANNOT Date a Smoker!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

Luckily, smokers are becoming few and far between. That makes choosing non-smokers to date easier. I also cannot stand the smell of dope or dope-heads, either.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

I don't think I can date a smoker anymore, either. Last few times I've set up a date with a new person, I've asked in advance if they smoke. I just can't deal with the idea of snuggling up to someone with smoke all over them or kissing the smoker's mouth. And the only way I know to reduce that sensation is to be smoking myself, and I don't want to do that.

Like you, I didn't want to be one of "those" ex-smokers who got all judgmental and fussy. I had to come to terms with my own limits. It's not about judging others. It's about knowing what we can handle for ourselves.

Quit Meter

$25,008.40

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 676 Hours: 11

Minutes: 24 Seconds: 25

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4856

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

97,120

Cigarettes Not Smoked

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 86

Hey Guys. Cool. Thanks for the feedback. I don't want to be judgemental, but right...just being totally honest with myself.

And, yeah I'll focus on me and my quit and hopefully everything will fall into place...

Another thing tho, not only do I not want to date a smoker. I would prefer and EX-SMOKER, so they know...you know?!

hahaha

Shannon

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Hopeful2,

I agree with everyone else, you have to do what's right for you. Good for you for being able to be honest with yourself about this. It must have been a tough decision.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Shannon!!!

I couldn't date a smoker either! Also, right after I quit, I used to love to follow someone who was smoking just to smell that smoke again! Well, that didn't last long! After a couple of months I couldn't stand the smell of cigarette smoke! It actually made me gag if I was in a room with a smoker! Hopefully you will evolve into a smoke hater, too! It definitely gives you another reason for living a NOPE life!

Have a great smoke-free weekend!

Jim

Quit Meter

$47,857.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1168 Hours: 9

Minutes: 32 Seconds: 4

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6381

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

191,430

Cigarettes Not Smoked

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 96

Shannon, you gotta do what you gotta do. Sounds like dating a smoker is a great way for the junkie in your brain to rationalize smoking. At this point in my quit I feel exactly the same as you. Focus on yourself, remind yourself who and what you're quitting for, and hopefully everything else will fall into place. :)

I think you're doing great analyzing what is and what isn't working for you, though. Being honest is really important and extremely helpful, although painful at times. Keep up the good work!!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2534

Not much of a limitation and a small price to pay for personal success. Plus - I couldn't date a smoker either!!

Good Luck!!

Penitent

Quit Meter

$62,051.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1286 Hours: 14

Minutes: 43 Seconds: 53

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5641

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

124,102

Cigarettes Not Smoked

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 86

So after reflecting on my relapse, I think I learned a couple of things, but one of the most important lessons is: I CANNOT date a Smoker!

I think my addiction found him. Subconciously, I think I used him as a scapegoat or rationalization to SMOKE.

I do not blame him. And, I have nothing against smokers. The smell does not even bother me, as I actually like the smell. I just can't stand to be around it because I like it!

I just do not think I am strong enough to date a smoker. Not to mention, I do not want to see a spouse die of a smoke related illness - which is my motivation for NOT smoking.

I never thought I would put this limitation on myself, but I think this is one that is neccessary for me and my quit.

Any thoughts?

Shannon

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

I CANNOT Date a Smoker!